News from Emporia I forgot to mention
I forgot to tell you all this piece of news. Those of you who have an ESU connection may remember a girl my age named Blythe Eddy who went to school here. Stellar gal. Anyway she married Aron Dody who went to Chase County High School (any scholars' bowl chicks remember him? He thought he was awesome in high school!) and he and Jason teach math together. They are good friends, and I think a lot of both Aron and Blythe. Anyway, they were expecting a baby this month and he ended up being stillborn. We went to the service last Wednesday, I think it was. Very difficult. I was so glad about this though: they got a photographer to take pictures of him and everyone was able to see the photos at the funeral.
It's so hard to know how to be someone's friend right then. Especially when you have a baby of your own...it just makes you wonder whether to stay away or to be there. So that's what is going on with us right now. We invited them to go out with us tonight, so I hope they do. I thought you might like to know, if you remember either of these people from college.
It's so hard to know how to be someone's friend right then. Especially when you have a baby of your own...it just makes you wonder whether to stay away or to be there. So that's what is going on with us right now. We invited them to go out with us tonight, so I hope they do. I thought you might like to know, if you remember either of these people from college.
posted by Anonymous at 8:55 AM
4 Comments:
I do remember Blythe. She was in a few of my classes. It is hard to know what to say or do. I had a friend in nebraska that that happened to. I went to go see her and told her that she didnt have to let me in if she didnt want to. I felt bad robynn was about 3 mo old when it happened. She and i talked about it. She told me that she knew because she hadnt felt him move. When they did the ultra sound they found his organs were growing outside of his abdomen. She was just glad that maybe he didnt have to feel the pain from all the surgeries he would have had. I helped her by just listening and being there. So i think that it just depends on the person.
Yes, I remember Blythe Eddy -- really long curly hair, right? (Was her dad a professor at ESU, too?) That's so sad to hear. I know someone who experienced that as well, and she said that one of the hardest things was having to deal with people who knew she had been pregnant, but who weren't close friends, so they didn't hear about the still birth. So, she would encounter people who would ask about her baby..... yeah, you can see where such a conversation would lead. Also, she mentioned how hard it was to answer the question "Do you have kids?" when they met new people. I don't think I've felt more sadness for another person than I felt for her when I heard her talk about it. Now, a mutual friend is pregnant and feels awkward around her for the same kinds of reasons you mention here. It's hard, but I would think she'd rather have someone there for her than not.... even if you have to take the brunt of some anger & resentment. So, yeah, just listen & make an effort to be there for her. There are too many people who go through personal tragedies and lose friends who are afraid of saying the wrong thing or offending the person or having it be awkward. Better to be there, I would think.
I remember both their names, but that's about it.
I have absolutely no idea how to comfort someone going through that. Sometimes I think my profession has ruined me for being a good friend, because when someone tells me something tragic like that, my first thought is usually not, "how horrible. What can I do to be there for you?" it's "let's see, maybe I could get you in touch with a support group, then maybe I can find a therapist who's willing to provide counseling on a sliding scale, then..."
Lesley, yes...that is Blythe. I don't know if Dr. Eddy is her dad or not though. We haven't gotten together with them yet but I think they will be ok with it when we do. Such a strange world.
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