The holidays
How are you celebrating? What are some family traditions you have?
Christmas Eve is Tim's final run of "Christmas Carol," so we can't fly to Chicago until the next day. I am going to make a fancy meal of seared Ahi tuna, risotto, asparagus, and a good chardonnay. Afterwards, we may nibble on some organic dark chocolate, because Tim's not much for fancy dessert, so I've learned not to bother when it's just us. Then we'll open presents, even though we had planned not to give each other them this year. (Well, I'll open one from him, and he'll open one from his sister, because I really did stick to our agreement, even if he did not.) After that, if we feel like being daring and tempting our early wake-up time to drive to Birmingham to catch the plane, we'll open up a special bottle of mead we've been saving, and smoke a joint, and see where that leads us. I don't know. We'll see.
Christmas Day will start butt early for a 1.5 hour drive to Birmingham so we can arrive in Chicago around lunchtime. We'll exchange presents with Tim's mom and sister, take a nap, then all pile in a car to hit the big Barta clan celebration in northern Illinois. Those are always raucous, loud, exhausting, and wonderful.
I guess we haven't started any Barta-Moran-Gittings traditions yet.
As a kid, Christmas Eve was my favorite. We'd make a nice dinner of steak and shrimp. Mom would make pumpkin or coconut custard pie. We'd get to use the fancy china. Katie and I would each open one present before bed. It was always a lovely, quiet night. (Well, except for when I'd sulk because Katie's present would be better than mine.)
From high school on, we'd also go to the Presby church's vesper service. The tiny church would be lit solely by candlelight, and we'd spend an hour singing Christmas hymns. Very hushed and very beautiful. Afterwards, we'd drive around Marion, and sometimes the lake, looking at Christmas lights. (Ooooh, now I know how we can end our evening here!)
Christmas Day, we'd wake at a leisurely hour. Mom would make a coffee cake, and tea, and we'd have breakfast while taking turns opening presents. Even though we'd never have a ton to exchange, we'd drag it out and make it last an hour or two. We'd probably have a big dinner in the afternoon or evening, but I really just remember the mornings because I loved them so much.
Hm. Now I miss those traditions. It's just not the same when you have carefully negotiate the land-mines of splitting time between two families during holidays. The only time Tim and I really argue is on this single issue. Hopefully it will get easier the longer we are together.
Christmas Eve is Tim's final run of "Christmas Carol," so we can't fly to Chicago until the next day. I am going to make a fancy meal of seared Ahi tuna, risotto, asparagus, and a good chardonnay. Afterwards, we may nibble on some organic dark chocolate, because Tim's not much for fancy dessert, so I've learned not to bother when it's just us. Then we'll open presents, even though we had planned not to give each other them this year. (Well, I'll open one from him, and he'll open one from his sister, because I really did stick to our agreement, even if he did not.) After that, if we feel like being daring and tempting our early wake-up time to drive to Birmingham to catch the plane, we'll open up a special bottle of mead we've been saving, and smoke a joint, and see where that leads us. I don't know. We'll see.
Christmas Day will start butt early for a 1.5 hour drive to Birmingham so we can arrive in Chicago around lunchtime. We'll exchange presents with Tim's mom and sister, take a nap, then all pile in a car to hit the big Barta clan celebration in northern Illinois. Those are always raucous, loud, exhausting, and wonderful.
I guess we haven't started any Barta-Moran-Gittings traditions yet.
As a kid, Christmas Eve was my favorite. We'd make a nice dinner of steak and shrimp. Mom would make pumpkin or coconut custard pie. We'd get to use the fancy china. Katie and I would each open one present before bed. It was always a lovely, quiet night. (Well, except for when I'd sulk because Katie's present would be better than mine.)
From high school on, we'd also go to the Presby church's vesper service. The tiny church would be lit solely by candlelight, and we'd spend an hour singing Christmas hymns. Very hushed and very beautiful. Afterwards, we'd drive around Marion, and sometimes the lake, looking at Christmas lights. (Ooooh, now I know how we can end our evening here!)
Christmas Day, we'd wake at a leisurely hour. Mom would make a coffee cake, and tea, and we'd have breakfast while taking turns opening presents. Even though we'd never have a ton to exchange, we'd drag it out and make it last an hour or two. We'd probably have a big dinner in the afternoon or evening, but I really just remember the mornings because I loved them so much.
Hm. Now I miss those traditions. It's just not the same when you have carefully negotiate the land-mines of splitting time between two families during holidays. The only time Tim and I really argue is on this single issue. Hopefully it will get easier the longer we are together.
posted by LE at 5:57 PM
6 Comments:
I don't know if I can say it gets easier. It isn't any easier now than it was at first for me to miss out on any holiday events with my side of the family. But, I have grown more used to it and more resigned to the fact that it will always be this way. And it isn't bad...just different.
Now, when we have Christmas with my parents and the clan, we have brunch on the morning we are going to open presents. Then, after that, my dad always has some sort of Christmasy thing to say or read. Sometimes he finds something for us to read as a family...some type of liturgical thing, even. It's pretty cool. Then he has us sing a few carols and by that time the kids are practically peeing themselves and so we open our presents. One at a time, of course. Our family believes in rejoicing with the recipient of each gift and so you have to watch and wait your turn. :D Last year one of my nephews opened a farmyard set with barn, animals, etc. on his first turn and was really excited. Then on his next turn he opened a little remote control car and said, "Wow, this is really cool!...I like the farm set better!" So cute.
Yeah, it doesn't seem to get much easier divvying time between families. (I could have posted EXACTLY what you said at the beginning of your post, LeAnn -- fits my feelings, too!) You'd think Topher and I would have an established plan by now -- you know, trading off time/days spent where/with whom -- but every year seems a bit up for grabs. Although Thanksgiving is pretty much set, Christmas can get tricky. Like LeAnn, I can't handle being away from my own parents for any of it. And I get a bit mad when Topher's family wonders where we are on Xmas Day (um, with my parents who would be by themselves if we weren't there! and who I want to see!) We are lucky, though, because once we get to Kansas, our families are only 1.5 hours away from one another. So driving between each location is very doable. This year, we'll drive from here to Topeka this Thursday and be there through Christmas Eve. Christmas morning, we'll drive to Marion in time for church at Eastmoor. Then we'll head back to the Topeka/Lawrence area to celebrate our anniversary. We will probably come back to Illinois on New Year's weekend.
I can relate to much of what Ellie and LeAnn have said about Christmas Eve, opening gifts, etc. We draw out the gift opening with my parents, too: Pass one to each person, everyone gets a turn, everyone oohs and ahhhs. I love that. And I love the quiet feelings of Christmas Eve, that stillness LeAnn talked about in another post and that Ellie talked about in regard to vespers. Eastmoor's Eve service always ended with candle light -- and "Silent Night." And we used to go to the Presby vespers, too! That church is the perfect setting for such a service.
As a kid, I was the only kid. No cousins even. And this meant no allies. So on Christmas Eve (the LOOOONGEST day of the year!) my grandparents would all come over. We were lucky that both sides lived so close -- how I miss them all so much. But then, my grandfathers would start talking. Oh, no. I had no siblings to help me in my quest to divert everyone's attention to gift opening! Who cares how the cattle are doing right now! Who cares about the stock market! It's time to open PRESENTS! So finally, we would open gifts. And we opened all our gifts on Christmas Eve.
Then, my grandparents would return the next day for dinner and sanctioned conversation!
However, my parents would save a few gifts that appeared under the tree on Christmas morning. Even in different wrapping! And the cookies were always gone. I will never forget the time I first set out cookies -- and when they were gone the next day, I really did think Santa had been there. Never mind my dad's intense love of my mom's sugar cookies -- Santa was real, dude.
So Christmas has always been intimate, quiet, still. We, too, would often drive around and look at lights at church on Christmas Eve. Especially that one really knock-out house at the lake -- you know which one? And we would listen to music in the car -- especially those Mannheim Steamroller songs that Connell loved. But the quiet ones. And we'd go home and drink egg nog and sit in the candlelit living room.
And I'm home.
Katie and Chris have been splitting holidays for at least five years now, and I still get lonely when it's Chris's family's turn. The holidays just aren't the same without sisters.
Right now(ish), it's not quite as bad, I suppose, because I have so much extended family in Chicago, and Tim's family is there, so it makes a lot of sense for my parents to come, too, and we can see everyone--if not on the proper days. Tim has a big group of friends (much like us) who he considers family as well, though, so we can really go back and forth on "My family's important!" "Well, my friends are MY family!"
(It's my feeling, though, that since my family is discussing plans and trying to arrange everything in advance, that trumps friends who never plan ANYTHING and just kind of show up. /rant)
I agree, Ellie. For us, however, it's family vs. family. My family tries to plan in advance and Topher's usually lets us know what's going on, oh, maybe a week prior to the event. And then we're left trying to figure out a schedule. And of course, we both want to be at our respective homes on Christmas Eve, so we have to argue, er, converse on that subject a lot. And I also get irked because it's about me being HOME -- as in, the house I grew up in and all the farm entails -- and for Topher, he didn't have that connection to a home/house. So we kind of bicker about that kind of thing, too. I mean, yay for spontaneity, but not when you are trying to be with certain people in a certain period of time. Still, Topher is very understanding and by the time the holidays are over, I don't think either of us is left feeling as though we didn't have a good time because we were one place and not another. And I love his family -- they've taught me to loosen up and go with the flow, even if it's all-important Christmas. That's a nice change from my own parents. :)
And this reminds me: Have any of you seen previews for that new movie "The Family Stone"? I haven't seen it and probably won't, but it makes me laugh b/c when I hang out with Topher's family, I seem like the uptight Sarah Jessica Parker character to them (I'm sure I do -- they've told me so!) and they are the unorganized, slightly bizarre bunch (and that's a compliment to them - really).
I was getting kind of sad about spending my second christmas away from home...and without any significant other, either. But then, I will be home soon, just in time to turn thirty and go to Eliza´s wedding and graduation, so there will be another family gathering then.
Today I´m going around giving people flower plants for Christmas. It really makes them happy...I just hope I don´t forget anything, or people will talk about what a malita I am. Small town life. Anyway, I´ve been enjoying the festivities here, most of which are religious, and not present oriented. Although, that concept is more and more present(he, he). Tomorrow there is a navidad procession with the kids, where they dress up as Mary and Joseph et al, and then everyone gets a bag of animal crackers and candy. The next day is a fiesta with dancing and loud music. Saturday was this outdoor mass high on the mountain top, after which the good catholics carried a baby Jesus doll back to the main church. It was pretty cool, I have to say.
There´s a bunch of other traditions, especially with the indigenous, but I won´t bore you now.
Friday I´m leaving town though, to go hang out with other gringos. I´ll probably be on the beach for a bit, but I want to be in my site for New Years...It´s never been a big deal to me, so I may as well make my ecuadorian friends happy.
Anyway, I´ll be glad when the holidays are over this year. You all have a good Christmas.
Wow, that was a cool post Hannah. It makes me miss all of you...weird, isn't it? The least familiar-sounding post of all was the one that made me feel like going back in time and hanging out again.
Jason and I set price limits for each other's gifts this year for the first time in about five years. It was kinda hard but it's actually been more fun in a way. I had to be more creative with the things I got him as opposed to just going for a couple knockout gifts like I could last year. (Well, knockout for him anyway.)
By the way, my PARENTS even have a fake tree now. I about fell over last year when I saw that one.
Post a Comment
<< Home