Thoughts on change from the conservative liberal new age pentecostal baptist photographer chick
I love change. I love the beginning of new activities, new events, the finality of completions. It's the in-between times that kill me. The waiting, unsure bits full of tension fill me with trepidation.
But life, in the past few years has been full of changes and transitions. Would it really work to uproot ourselves from Iowa and move back to Kansas when Marc may or may not have a job? Is it a good idea to try and sell our house? Where will we live? What will we do without our friends?
Should we move to Cheney? What about school for me? What about a job? What will I do with my life? Is this really the right thing?
I thought I would be so many things, president (I could still run, but those college years would haunt me more than Clinton), hotel owner, environmental engineer, fashion designer, costume designer, artist, jewelry designer, before I became a photographer/computer geekette. And I didn't decide on that until 30ish too. So I wouldn't let jobless and 30 be a deterrent for anything.
It's hard to make life altering decisions. What I've found works for me is to just ask God, the cosmos, the universe for some help. Sometimes, the answer is just peace with your decision, other times I've gotten INSTANT clarity like I did when I realized I could stay at home and work on my book.
Sometimes, the answer is to not change. (Blogger cut the rest of my post out, so here it is):And that's okay too.
I do have to say that I understand LeAnn's relationship with God. For me it's been truly finding that center stillness and knowing that you really aren't alone, that there is someone beyond you looking out for your well being no matter the mistakes. That's the best part and the part that most people don't talk about. Sure you hear the bible thumping, no sex, anti this and that speeches, but you never hear the love, the stillness, the peace from these people. That's how I see it. God wants us to love, to live life, to laugh to be joyful, to dance in the rain and sing in the fallen leaves. Now mind you, this has changed my life, but I'm still the overly sexual, spirit sensing libral conservative that I always was. I just have peace and guidance. So this helps when those big things overwhelm me. I think about what my answer should be and still list out my options. But I know I don't have to decide alone.
I also still know that God is everywhere, in my steamy cup of mexican chocolate coffee and in the tiniest locust tree leaf drifting in the wind.
But life, in the past few years has been full of changes and transitions. Would it really work to uproot ourselves from Iowa and move back to Kansas when Marc may or may not have a job? Is it a good idea to try and sell our house? Where will we live? What will we do without our friends?
Should we move to Cheney? What about school for me? What about a job? What will I do with my life? Is this really the right thing?
I thought I would be so many things, president (I could still run, but those college years would haunt me more than Clinton), hotel owner, environmental engineer, fashion designer, costume designer, artist, jewelry designer, before I became a photographer/computer geekette. And I didn't decide on that until 30ish too. So I wouldn't let jobless and 30 be a deterrent for anything.
It's hard to make life altering decisions. What I've found works for me is to just ask God, the cosmos, the universe for some help. Sometimes, the answer is just peace with your decision, other times I've gotten INSTANT clarity like I did when I realized I could stay at home and work on my book.
Sometimes, the answer is to not change. (Blogger cut the rest of my post out, so here it is):And that's okay too.
I do have to say that I understand LeAnn's relationship with God. For me it's been truly finding that center stillness and knowing that you really aren't alone, that there is someone beyond you looking out for your well being no matter the mistakes. That's the best part and the part that most people don't talk about. Sure you hear the bible thumping, no sex, anti this and that speeches, but you never hear the love, the stillness, the peace from these people. That's how I see it. God wants us to love, to live life, to laugh to be joyful, to dance in the rain and sing in the fallen leaves. Now mind you, this has changed my life, but I'm still the overly sexual, spirit sensing libral conservative that I always was. I just have peace and guidance. So this helps when those big things overwhelm me. I think about what my answer should be and still list out my options. But I know I don't have to decide alone.
I also still know that God is everywhere, in my steamy cup of mexican chocolate coffee and in the tiniest locust tree leaf drifting in the wind.
posted by Jen Nuessen at 1:41 PM
1 Comments:
Yeah, that's it...it's about something other than me, and bigger.
That's not to say I'm not "traditional"...but I consider believing and following Jesus to be of far more importance than the "churchy" stuff or the activism that seems to accompany it so readily.
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