All right, here's my last decade:
Let's see...I came out of high school having no clear picture of where my life was going. I look back on that time a lot now and wonder why I didn't plan for the future, why I didn't try to figure out what I was going to do with my life. After all, you obviously have to do SOMETHING, and it seems I should have realized that sometime between the ages of 5 and 18. But I didn't, apparently. So ESU was ok, I suppose. I didn't go "crazy, really crazy", as Jen put it. But I also didn't do anything very great either. There is a group of college students in our church now who I am semi-acquainted with, and they are all so very sure about their lives. And not in an accounting-degree-marriage-life-in-the-suburbs kind of way, certainly. Just sure about who they are and what they want to become as people. I look back on much of my first five years out of high school as a bit of a waste in some ways. More about that at the end.
So I spent part of college in this really REALLY horrible relationship. Made all kinds of mistakes during that time, and really...that's one of the major turning points of my life. That relationship taught me what I'd never known in high school: who I am, and how to be that person and not shrink away from her. Finally I didn't want to be LIKE someone else, I wanted to be like myself (anyone else hear a They Might Be Giants song in their heads now?) and for other people to see me and know I was just that...myself. Anyway...I haven't seen the guy since about 1997, and I have no idea where he is, but it would be interesting to see if he had learned as much as I did from that whole awful experience. Not that I'm going to be getting in touch with him ANY TIME soon. :D
So then I met Jason, probably about my sophomore year, and a year or so after we had been friends we decided that we were eventually going to probably get married so we should most likely begin dating in order to facilitate the process. He wanted to leave Emporia...moved away after he graduated, but I was still here in school. Then, miraculously, his best job offer (teaching) was back here, and so that was basically it. We've been here ever since, and I think of Emporia as home now. It's a good place for me, not bad for him although he misses "large metropolitan areas" I think.
Really, the major thing that's happened to me recently has been what I've been calling inside my head a "God encounter". It's hard to explain in a short period of time, so for now, I'll just say that I met Him and now I belong to Him, which feels pretty wonderful. I wonder sometimes how you guys perceive that area of my life back when we were all together. I never talked too much about it then, and now that I truly take it seriously I wonder how I used to come across. Another thing I am afraid I wasted, in a way.
So anyway, I've got my life in safe hands now, and this year we (finally, according to Jason's parents), had our baby. Asher. He's pretty fantastic, nearly 8 months old, happy as they come ordinarily. Looks just like Jason except has blue, blue eyes, even more than mine. Our cats do NOT think much of him at all. So basically, my days now consist of working around the house and out in the yard, and playing with cups and blocks and a stuffed giraffe (Jaffy). I miss work, but only occasionally, and I'd miss this even more if I wasn't doing it.
My goal for next year is a vegetable garden and a bigger flower garden. Gardening is slowly becoming my "thing", although I'm still in the beginning stages. I'm currently harboring a dream of opening a nursery one day...the user-friendly nursery. I want to help beginning gardeners realize their horticultural fantasies. :D
Crikey. I'm either really weird, really boring, or both. As I listen to you all describe your lives to me, that's what it makes me think. But, I'm right where I'm supposed to be, so maybe my destiny in the evolution of Us is to become The Regular One. You think? I realize sometimes that my life hasn't actually been a waste...it's been my failures and my mistakes that have gotten me to a place where I feel right. Jen was talking to me about this the other day, and she's right.
So I spent part of college in this really REALLY horrible relationship. Made all kinds of mistakes during that time, and really...that's one of the major turning points of my life. That relationship taught me what I'd never known in high school: who I am, and how to be that person and not shrink away from her. Finally I didn't want to be LIKE someone else, I wanted to be like myself (anyone else hear a They Might Be Giants song in their heads now?) and for other people to see me and know I was just that...myself. Anyway...I haven't seen the guy since about 1997, and I have no idea where he is, but it would be interesting to see if he had learned as much as I did from that whole awful experience. Not that I'm going to be getting in touch with him ANY TIME soon. :D
So then I met Jason, probably about my sophomore year, and a year or so after we had been friends we decided that we were eventually going to probably get married so we should most likely begin dating in order to facilitate the process. He wanted to leave Emporia...moved away after he graduated, but I was still here in school. Then, miraculously, his best job offer (teaching) was back here, and so that was basically it. We've been here ever since, and I think of Emporia as home now. It's a good place for me, not bad for him although he misses "large metropolitan areas" I think.
Really, the major thing that's happened to me recently has been what I've been calling inside my head a "God encounter". It's hard to explain in a short period of time, so for now, I'll just say that I met Him and now I belong to Him, which feels pretty wonderful. I wonder sometimes how you guys perceive that area of my life back when we were all together. I never talked too much about it then, and now that I truly take it seriously I wonder how I used to come across. Another thing I am afraid I wasted, in a way.
So anyway, I've got my life in safe hands now, and this year we (finally, according to Jason's parents), had our baby. Asher. He's pretty fantastic, nearly 8 months old, happy as they come ordinarily. Looks just like Jason except has blue, blue eyes, even more than mine. Our cats do NOT think much of him at all. So basically, my days now consist of working around the house and out in the yard, and playing with cups and blocks and a stuffed giraffe (Jaffy). I miss work, but only occasionally, and I'd miss this even more if I wasn't doing it.
My goal for next year is a vegetable garden and a bigger flower garden. Gardening is slowly becoming my "thing", although I'm still in the beginning stages. I'm currently harboring a dream of opening a nursery one day...the user-friendly nursery. I want to help beginning gardeners realize their horticultural fantasies. :D
Crikey. I'm either really weird, really boring, or both. As I listen to you all describe your lives to me, that's what it makes me think. But, I'm right where I'm supposed to be, so maybe my destiny in the evolution of Us is to become The Regular One. You think? I realize sometimes that my life hasn't actually been a waste...it's been my failures and my mistakes that have gotten me to a place where I feel right. Jen was talking to me about this the other day, and she's right.
posted by Anonymous at 8:37 AM
11 Comments:
Ok, so how are you defining "Regular?" If you mean "Ordinary" in some kind of negative sense, I will have to get in my car, drive the 8 hours between you and me, and smack ya. Seriously. Of course, I'd hug you tight first -- and THEN smack you for thinking you're anything other than amazing. I love the fact that you want to pursue having a nursery and other horticultural doings -- hmmm. Are you sure you're not MY mother's long lost child??? :)
Tee hee! Maybe your mother will shop at my nursery.
No, I don't mean regular bad, I just mean...regular. I don't view it as a negative thing at all, except during an occasional fit of wanderlust that makes me wish I'd seen the world already. :) That's it, really.
Or that you got the chance to a "Sex in the City" Girl? I know how you feel. I think it's something that happens when you have kids. Like you can't indulge the wanderlust anymore. Not that it's a bad thing though. I think it's just a grass is greener thing.
Definitely. You realize that you're in a good place but the simple fact that there are things you CAN'T do any more (at least for a while, like 20 years) makes you want to do them all of a sudden.
Well, hmm. Maybe it is a grass is greener thing, because settling down and having a family(although for me, that just may mean living with a bunch of good friends), and a job sound great. Don´t get me wrong, I´m glad I´ve seen a little bit of the world, but with 30 around the corner, I want to stay in one place for a while and establish something. And having a nursery sounds exciting to me.
And, my grandparents, who are in their late seventies, have been all over the world in the last 15 years. So it´s never too late.
Very true. Will you come and visit my nursery before I start it and help me make it cool?
Actually, LeAnn, you are a "Sex and the City" girl, to use Jen's phrase. I always thought you looked a bit like Sarah Jessica Parker..... yes, that is meant to be a compliment in case you are wrinkling your nose at this moment!!
I would definitely take that as a compliment although I know some people don't think she's hot at all. My common characteristics with her character are few and far between, I have to say. I wonder if I started smoking like Carrie does, whether I'd get her great body. Don't worry, I'm not tempted.
I'd compare you to one of the characters too but you're much cooler than all of them (and cooler-looking).
I have a kind of love/hate with SITC -- the characters drive me nuts! But sometimes, when I do watch it (you know, when the remote just HAPPENS to get stuck and I'm tired), SJP will have some sort of expression on her face that just reminds me of you. And then I feel happy!
Same here with the love/hate of SATC. Next time I watch it, I'll have to watch for resemblances.
Yeah, somehow I always feel as though I shouldn't be watching it. I'm probably right!
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