More about teenagers
I read Hannah's teenager post and was posting my own comment, when I realized that the comment was so long that I should probably make it into a new post. Voila:
Hannah, in an ironic twist, I did not previously find the word "colostrum" funny; however, after your post, I now do. Consider your rant officially humorous.
Yes, we once were so annoying, I believe...I find myself contemplating this topic all the time these days, as I often find myself in the midst of large groups of high school students, at games or in church or whatnot. I wonder repeatedly how Jason can stand his job, and when I ask the question he (typically of him) doesn't say much. True, he comes home some days snarling about his kids, and how immature they all are and how being in their presence compares to various forms of medieval torture, which by the way he would happily employ were he to gain access to some thumbscrews or large boulders. But most days I think he privately enjoys it all very much, and would like it even better if it weren't for the stupid political debris that floats around him all year long.
Yes, we were so annoying, although in a slightly different way than most, I think. There were some ways in which we were annoying in exactly the same way, I'm sure. Adolescence truly is a disease, as you said, and I thank the Lord that all of the rest of you seem to feel that you had cases of it that were just as severe as mine! I had a complex for years about what I was like in junior high and high school and this blog is helping me to get over that.
On a similar note, I enjoy Jason's soccer team very much most of the time. I know...50 high school girls. But they really are sweet little things (in front of me anyway) and now they can dote on the baby which always scores people a few points. Here, though, is where we really WERE different. I get very disillusioned whenever I hear about some of the dangerous, illegal, or scandalous episodes some of the girls get involved in, and it depresses me that they feel so grown-up, so worldly, and so jaded at the age of 16. That's where I think we were different from your typical group of teenagers. Am I wrong? Or did we all hang onto that innocence, that simple happiness, that joie de vivre (did I spell that right?) a little longer than most? I hope so. I think so. That doesn't mean I think we were all a bunch of candy stripers or something. What I mean is that we just didn't feel the need to be 30 when we were 15.
Hannah, in an ironic twist, I did not previously find the word "colostrum" funny; however, after your post, I now do. Consider your rant officially humorous.
Yes, we once were so annoying, I believe...I find myself contemplating this topic all the time these days, as I often find myself in the midst of large groups of high school students, at games or in church or whatnot. I wonder repeatedly how Jason can stand his job, and when I ask the question he (typically of him) doesn't say much. True, he comes home some days snarling about his kids, and how immature they all are and how being in their presence compares to various forms of medieval torture, which by the way he would happily employ were he to gain access to some thumbscrews or large boulders. But most days I think he privately enjoys it all very much, and would like it even better if it weren't for the stupid political debris that floats around him all year long.
Yes, we were so annoying, although in a slightly different way than most, I think. There were some ways in which we were annoying in exactly the same way, I'm sure. Adolescence truly is a disease, as you said, and I thank the Lord that all of the rest of you seem to feel that you had cases of it that were just as severe as mine! I had a complex for years about what I was like in junior high and high school and this blog is helping me to get over that.
On a similar note, I enjoy Jason's soccer team very much most of the time. I know...50 high school girls. But they really are sweet little things (in front of me anyway) and now they can dote on the baby which always scores people a few points. Here, though, is where we really WERE different. I get very disillusioned whenever I hear about some of the dangerous, illegal, or scandalous episodes some of the girls get involved in, and it depresses me that they feel so grown-up, so worldly, and so jaded at the age of 16. That's where I think we were different from your typical group of teenagers. Am I wrong? Or did we all hang onto that innocence, that simple happiness, that joie de vivre (did I spell that right?) a little longer than most? I hope so. I think so. That doesn't mean I think we were all a bunch of candy stripers or something. What I mean is that we just didn't feel the need to be 30 when we were 15.
posted by Anonymous at 9:09 AM
4 Comments:
The thing I alternately love and loath about teenagers is their ego-centrism. While they're bugging the crap out of me, I'm aware that I was the same way: loud in public, assured that my life was so important that everyone around me should hear about it. Odd that that should happen during a time of greatest insecurity, huh?
But yeah, I feel super lucky at the relative innocence we came of age during. I often wish I had not grown up QUITE so naive, but...
I took one of my clients' 13-year-old daughters to get a pregnancy test a few weeks ago. Scary. When I was 13? Still five years before I even knew how to kiss.
I am too terrified to even think about having kids. I don't want boys, and I'm too scared for our girls' futures.
Also, I think that I like adolescents quite a bit. I was even considering getting my certification in school social work when I go back to school. I decided against it. I can't deal with the helplessness of minors. Like you can't tell kids that you'll protect them from being abused by their parents, because you can't. The system can really fuck them and you can't do anything about it. At least with adults, they have more legal rights and more power to help themselves.
I do love the teens I encounter in the shelter, but I have to keep my distance, or I'll get too involved. One client's really messed up but really sweet 12-year-old boy reminds me of my favorite campers junior high week back when I was a camp counselor.
You know, I didn't really care if Asher was going to be a girl or a boy (we didn't find out ahead of time), but I know that I was feeling some reservations either way. I always THOUGHT he was going to be a girl and now that I look back, I think I kind of wanted a girl before he was born. I really had no idea how to relate to boys, I thought. But I found out that there is something odd between a mother and son that I don't think I will ever have if I have a daughter. It's hard to describe the attachment but it is definitely worth the experience.
Adolescents. Yikes. I can't say I share the enthusiasm. I dread age 10-15 right now, but I know when it comes I'll handle it somehow.
I have to say that I find teenagers both endearing and repelling. I never feel as though I was much like the teenagers I know and teach. I wish I could say that I was. Ultimately, I think I was so desperate NOT to be young that I completely skipped teen years to some extent. I was TOO mature and responsible -- a bit the opposite of what some of you may be remembering. Not that I wasn't obnoxious or silly (c'mon, I know I was) -- but I always felt embarrassed or self-conscious about anything adults -- especially my parents -- might consider "inappropriate" behavior. I was always hyper-concerned about adults' impression of me, to a fault. (It may be an only child thing -- I was often called upon to be one of the adults most of the time.)
The thing is, I think about how it used to be as a teen -- naivete was excused to some degree and that allows for some relatively open ended/minded thinking, to some extent. I was thinking of this the other day, during one of my classes. My students are studying poetry. As an academic, when I read and study and analyze literature, I have to call upon numerous critics, sources, and debates before I can simply interpret and read a poem. Sometimes, I don't even get a chance to enjoy the poem or wonder what it means to me personally because my mind is now trained to jump to Critical Theory A or Interpretive Move B when I approach literature. I was listening to my students discuss a poem, and I suddenly wished that I could just respond to it like they were, without all that immediate weight of tradition. So, although the knowledge we gain through all life experience is wonderful, I can't help but miss that first experience I had with a poem, where I just got excited about it, how it sounded, what it reminded me of ..... before the weight of everything I had to learn sat upon me. Again, what we learn is not a burden, but it does set up some blinders to other things.
Overall, I think you are allowed a kind of "giddiness" when you are a teen that you don't get later -- and that's why I wish I had used more of that allowance. So, it's the naivete I miss -- not to be ignorant, mind you, but to be seeing things for the first time and being positively overwhelmed by them. That's why I worry for the girls that LeAnn talked about -- they really are trying to grow up too fast! I tried to do that too -- not by illegal means but just through embodiment. Now, I wouldn't mind being able to act like a kid again and get away with it!
And there's a Dar Williams' song for everything: Listen to "Teenagers, Kick Our Butts"
on End of the Summer
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